Our Debt Free Family

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What is the Best Way to Manage Financial Stress?

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financial stress

Throughout my pregnancy, I have been attending yoga classes. Since I started attending these classes a lot of my stress levels are just lower, in general. On top of being good for my physical health, each class has helped improve my mental health as well. I’m less likely to freak out if I can remember the most important part of yoga: to breathe. That got me thinking about how people manage their financial stress and what we do to cope in our own family.

How We Deal With Financial Stress

This isn’t to say you can breathe your way through your financial hardships (though a yoga class or two may help you refocus). However, you can use some things from yoga to help yourself deal with financial stress.

  • Breathe: Sometimes you need to just step back and take a breath. This isn’t the end of the world and a nice cleansing breath can help with your stress levels.
  • Balance: Search for a way to balance out your finances and bring your stress down. Planning helps me a ton!
  • Set your gaze: Consider your goals. Is what you are stressing about really going to hold you back?
  • Drown out distractions: What things are distracting you from reaching your goals? Find a way to drown those things out.
  • Just unplug: Every once in a while, you need to just unplug. Cut off social media, emails, and maybe even your phone for the day. Recenter and come back with a fresh attitude.

Now, my husband doesn’t do yoga. He is more of a jiu-jitsu guy. Thankfully, we have ways of working through our own financial stress together. Normally, he is the calm and collected one. He makes phone calls, mends things when they are broken, and makes the problem (even if temporarily) go away. I am the planner. I sit down and figure out how we can avoid finding ourselves in that situation again.

For many couples and families, this is a great way to manage financial stress. You assign “jobs” to the people in charge of finance. My husband isn’t the best with planning, so bill pay and mapping out our finances each month is my job. He’s a better spender. So, when there is a big purchase to be made, he does the research. It works for us. For the most part, it is about what works for you.

Other Ways to Cope

What works for us won’t necessarily work for you. Thankfully, there are plenty of ways to cope with financial stress. Here are three ways I’ve seen be beneficial for other families.

  1. Have a true understanding of your financial situation. Oftentimes, stress stems from not knowing exactly where you stand financially. Take time to get to know your money and where you stand with your debt and long-term financial goals.
  2. Take a social media detox. Social media can be great, but it can also leave us looking at everyone else’s lives and saying, “That could be me.” People start envying one another and, sometimes, overspend trying to keep up with the Joneses. Turn your social media notifications off for a week (or more). It can do wonders!
  3. Consider counseling. Financial counseling can be a great tool if you are really struggling with managing your stress. Look into low-cost and even free options in your area.

Dealing with financial stress can be a killer. Once you find a way to manage your own stress, it can make a world of difference. You may even find you are meeting more of your goals and seeing more progress in your finances.

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How to Throw a Budget-Friendly Baby Shower

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budget-friendly baby shower

You may be just as surprised as I was to learn there are actually people who go into debt throwing their own baby shower. I have been checking out Pinterest boards and subreddits and, believe it or not, there are people that really spend thousands for their shower. Insane! We won’t be running our credit card for anything for our celebration. Here is how we plan to throw a budget-friendly baby shower.

The Average Cost of a Baby Shower

Baby showers typically cost between $100 and $1,000. Some showers may cost even more if you are anticipating a large number of people. I read about one couple who expected their shower to cost nearly $4,000! So, what makes up this seemingly astronomical cost?

First, the food people are eating is a huge part of the budget. Many people have their baby shower catered, so you are paying the caterer a “per person” price. This adds up quickly! Then when you factor in the cost of the cake, which can be up to $4 per serving, the price of food for your shower may be startling.

The next largest expense for your baby shower is the location. While some people choose to have it in their home, many people rent out a community center or other space for the shindig. Depending on your location, this can cost $200 and up.

Many people spend a fair amount of money on invitations and decorations as well. Invitations cost anywhere between $0.50 and $1 per invite. Decorations for the party can cost between $50 and $200 or more, depending on the size of the party and how many decorations you need to buy. Not to mention, you’ll need to buy plates, cups, napkins, and silverware as well.

On top of all of this, people generally play games at baby showers. So, you’ll need to purchase what you need for the games as well as prizes. For instance, our shower will have a diaper raffle. For every pack of diapers and/or wipes someone brings, they will be entered into the raffle for one of three prizes. You may also want to include party favors for your guests as well.

Tips for a Budget-Friendly Baby Shower

As you can see, the cost of a baby shower can start to add up really quickly. We have been able to cut costs in a few areas that will save us a bit of money. Here are some tips I’m using to throw a budget-friendly baby shower…

  • Hold it at a time where finger foods are acceptable. We are having our baby shower at 1 p.m. and providing finger foods. I’d suggest checking out some of the Aldi charcuterie boards, which you can put together really cheaply!
  • Have your baby shower somewhere free. We are having our shower in our home, so it’ll be 100% free. If your house isn’t big enough to hold a shower, look for free venues around you. Many parks offer covered picnic areas for events for free or cheap.
  • Get close friends and family to chip in. My mom and a few of my close friends are pitching in for the big things (food, cake, prizes for the games). Talk to your folks to see who might be willing to help.
  • Keep it small! We only invited about 30 people and expect about half of them to show up. Keeping it small will help keep costs low all around.
  • Send e-invites. We didn’t stress sending paper invites out. Instead, we just created a Facebook event and invited everyone that way. Those without Facebook we called or invited in person.
  • Don’t stress decorations. I think we will spend less than $50 total on decorations. Remember, the most important thing is that you spend this time with friends and family.
  • Hit the dollar store. When it comes to plates, napkins, silverware, and some of the prizes, we are hitting our local dollar store. You don’t have to spend an arm and a leg on these items.

Readers, how much did you spend on your baby shower?

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Big News From Our Family!

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big news

Over the past few months, a lot of the blog posts on Our Debt Free Family have been hinting at big changes coming our way. My husband got a new job that he is able to work from home and we’ve been reworking our budget. We’ve been doing all of this in preparation for a huge change coming our way. So, what’s the big news?

*Cue drum roll*

Our Big News

We are expecting our first child!

big news

This week, we learned we are expecting a baby girl. Both of us are overjoyed with the idea of growing our little family. The first few months of the pregnancy we kept the news quiet between us and a few close family and friends. I was deathly ill for about eight weeks straight and it was exhausting. But, now that the first trimester (and then some) has passed, we are ready to share the news and get down to business.

Now that we know we are expecting a girl, it feels like there are a million and one things to do. People have asked about a registry already, we are looking at expenses and budgeting changes, and things we need to get done before the little one arrives. Not only do we need to get a nursery ready and get everything baby will need, but there are things like getting the car registered and updating our work computers that need to be done as well.

Financial Thoughts

So, that brings me to the financial aspect of our big news…

We have been putting our heads together trying to think about what our major priorities should be as September 2 approaches. Here are some of the bigger expenses and things we are hoping to accomplish over the next four and a half months.

  • Health insurance: I had to purchase health insurance earlier this year to pay for prenatal care. We did not qualify for Medicaid. This is an extra $278 bill each month. We will also need to purchase health coverage for the little one once she arrives.
  • Car repair and taxes: We recently spent a little over $600 on replacing all four tires on our vehicle. That was desperately needed. There are also a few more things we need to get done with the car, including paying our taxes here in North Carolina and getting our plates switched over from Georgia by July.

  • Work computers: Because we are both working from home, we are in need of new computers. Both of the laptops we’ve been working on are clinging on for dear life and need to be retired for travel computers. We will be looking at getting desktops for our in-home office.

More Financial Thoughts

  • Getaway: Next week, we will be going on one of two getaways we have planned before the baby arrives. We won’t be doing much (if any) travel during the first year of her life, so we want to be sure we have two nice trips together before then. The other trip will be planned before July 22, which is my medical cut-off date for travel.
  • Nursery: Of course, we will also be planning out and buying things for the nursery. Much of this will be bought for us. We both have large families that are looking forward to the new addition. It is the first grandchild and the first great-grandchild for much of our family. We are also applying for any and all freebies we possibly can. For example, the insurance company is going to cover the cost of a breast pump (yay). We also started our registry through Amazon, which will send a free Welcome Box with some baby items.

Getting Ready

Looking at that list above is a little daunting when you think about it all fitting into the next four and a half months. However, neither of us has any doubt it is doable with good planning. Most of all, we are looking forward to the arrival of our baby girl. I can’t wait to keep you updated on this process and how we handle everything each step of the way.

Readers, how did you prepare for your first child? What tips do you have to share?

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How to Prepare for Big Life Changes

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prepare for big life changes

Any time there are big changes in our lives, the financial planning aspect of things gives me a bit of anxiety. I begin to think about every penny we will need to make the new shift in our lives go off without a hitch and, guess what? Things almost never go to plan. Not exactly anyway. So, we have had to put some thought into how to prepare for big life changes headed our way.

Huge Changes Coming Our Way

In a few weeks’ time, I hope to be able to share some positive news with you all on the blog. There are some HUGE changes coming our way. They are also changes that will involve some financial planning and saving on our part. As you know, we recently moved into a new home. On top of that, we’ve been going through even more changes that will impact our family in a big way.

Thankfully, my husband recently got a new job. He is able to work from home with me now and his income will greatly assist with these changes. We are aiming to get a substantial amount of money saved and then looking to double up on our debt payments. Hopefully, within the year, we will have our car 100% paid for (that is the goal anyway).

Since we have started planning for this big change coming up in our lives, it got me thinking about how others prepare for big life changes. Of course, there is nothing that works for everyone but there are several common ideas and things most people do when they are prepping for something big.

How to Prepare for Big Life Changes

Depending on what kind of change you are preparing for, the steps to get there will look different. If you are preparing to buy your first home, you will be making some financial sacrifices and also spending a great deal to get ready for that. If the changes you are making are more personal in nature, like quitting cigarettes or getting sober, your steps will look different. However, each of these tips seems to be applicable across the board.

  1. Surround yourself with supportive people. When you are going through something life-changing, you need to build a solid support system. Find people with who you feel comfortable talking about your upcoming changes with who you can rely to be supportive when you need them. In some cases, this may mean financial support or simply emotional support to get through the big change.
  2. Express your feelings often. One big mistake people make when they are going through a big transition in life is not expressing themselves clearly. When you aren’t able to make your own emotions and thoughts known, it becomes difficult to shake them. For instance, if you feel like you have hit a wall with your financial goals and feel stuck, express that frustration to someone you trust. Getting those feelings out will help you tremendously.
  3. Know why you are making the changes you are making. For each small goal you have, know why you are making those changes and how it contributes to the bigger picture. Knowing the “why” behind each move you make can help motivate you.
  4. Be realistic with expectations. Many people hit walls or stop seeing progress because they aren’t realistic with the goals they set. If you are facing a huge life change like we are, it is important that you are down-to-earth with what to expect of yourself and others. Change does not happen overnight.
  5. Allow for difficulty. Nothing ever goes according to plan, not exactly anyway. Make concessions for difficulties that may befall you along the way and don’t let them hold you back. Simply alter your plans to adjust for the bump in the road and move on.
  6. Practice self-care. No matter what, you need to continue to take care of yourself. Practice self-care in whatever way is most rewarding for you (just make sure it doesn’t hinder your progress). For some people, this may be taking time out of the day to unplug and read a book – that is my personal favorite. Others may need to work out or unplug and take a nice bath. Think about how you practice self-care and schedule time for those things while you are going through big changes. This will help you stay on track and keep you sane.

When it comes to how to prepare for big life changes there is no “how-to” guide. You need to find what works best for you mentally, emotionally, physically, and go with that. It may not look the same as what worked for your friends or family, but if it works for you, that is all that matters.

Readers, how have you gone about preparing for big life changes? What was key for you?

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What Is the Real Problem Behind This Couples’ $232000 in Debt?

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$232000 in debt

Occasionally, I also write on another personal finance website called Saving Advice. The site, which typically gives out financial advice and insights into saving methods, also has a blog section where everyday people can blog about their finances. There are a number of people who have blogged there for over a decade. One of the newest members is what recently caught my attention though.

An American Debt Story

In the original post, the blogger outlined their debt and broke it down into accounts. Immediately, people began to comment on the couple’s astounding debt figures. After having paid off more than $60,000, they remain $232,000 in debt. From the post:

A bit about myself, I’m a thirty-something-year-old woman living in Alaska with her husband who’s in the ARMY and 3 children (16yo girl, 13yo girl, and 4yo boy). I’m a Dave Ramsey enthusiast although I do disagree with some of his teachings (for example, saving $1,000 for emergency fund).

The comment section was full of suggestions on what the family should do as well as other personal stories to help her know that she’s not alone. In fact, a lot of people on the site have paid off six figures in debt. But the real question is how does $232000 in debt accrue?

How Do You Get $232000 in Debt?

First and foremost, if you take a look at the original post (linked above), you will see that the family has FOUR car payments they are in charge of making. This one of the biggest red flags on the list of their debts. They also have tens of thousands of dollars in credit card debt. There are also a number of personal loans and student loans listed as well.

All in all, there has been very little reflection (on the part of the blogger) on what got them into this situation, to begin with. They owe payments on a Prius, truck, van, and RV. There is no doubt with three children that the van is likely needed, but the other vehicles are excess. The blogger says that they use the Prius for Doordash, but even the average Doordash salary would not excuse the monthly cost in car payments.

When it comes to “how does this happen,” it is the lack of self-reflection that plays a huge role. When a problem arises, a loan came through for them in an emergency instead of a savings fund. They have also made a lot of unnecessary expensive purchases.

My Thoughts

Of course, I still hold quite a bit of my own debt. We have not been able to make much progress on our debt freedom journey in recent months, but we are able to truly examine our finances. At this time, while she’s made a huge step in blogging about their debt, she hasn’t truly examined their finances.

She lists budgeting as one of her hobbies in the first post. However, she is still budgeting outside of what they actually have coming in. She is budgeting around debt payments and loan money. I think before she truly makes progress beyond the minimum payments she will have to identify what got them there in the first place.

For our family, we continued to go into debt because we overspent or thought we could afford more than we actually could (i.e. higher rent, too high car payments, etc). This is because we lived paycheck-to-paycheck our entire lives. So, when we got paid, it was “treat yourself” day. Because of this, we have to budget a set amount of money for “fun” activities so we don’t splurge. The reasoning behind their family’s debt will likely look different and so will the solution.

Readers, what do you think about this couples’ $232000 in debt? What would you suggest for them? 

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Frugal Date Ideas for All Year Long

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frugal date ideas

Taking time to spend with your significant other is always a good investment. In our home, we have at least one night per week that cell phones are put down and we just spend time together. It is necessary to maintain our relationship. Sometimes, we like to incorporate some fun date nights too. However, going out for a date can get pretty expensive, depending on what your plans are. Here are some frugal date ideas that we love.

Frugal Date Night In

My husband and I are both fans of the “date night in,” especially in the post-pandemic world. Some of our favorite things to do at our home cost next to nothing too. Consider adding some of these activities to your plans!

  • Check out your streaming services. If you are like us, you don’t get a chance to watch all of the shows and streaming services we’d like to. Take a moment to check out what you’re subscribed to and make a list for your date night. Curl up with your favorite snacks and settle in for the night. (This is probably our favorite of the frugal date ideas.)
  • Take advantage of a free trial. If there is a movie you’ve been wanting to see or a show you’ve been wanting to binge-watch, take advantage of a free trial on date night. You can start the show or watch the movie free of charge. Just don’t forget to cancel your subscription before you get charged!
  • Play a game of cards or break out the board games. Every once in a while we will pull out a deck of cards and play a few games of Rummy. We also have a few board games we take out of the closet occasionally. These are great, fun ways to spend date night at no cost.
  • Try out Playstation Plus. This service gives you access to a wide variety of different video games. You can try out some new games you’ve never played and have a great time. They offer a free trial and then after that it is $9.95 per month. If you’re both avid gamers, it can be a great cheap date night every month.
  • Make homemade pizza or pick a recipe to try. Cooking in will always be cheaper than ordering food or eating out.
  • Learn something together. We like to seek out documentaries about new things, YouTube videos, and other informational materials and learn new things together. It can give you something new to talk about and is an extremely frugal date night.
  • Get physical. You can get a wide range of workout videos on YouTube. Pull up a yoga class or cardio class to do together.

Other Frugal Date Ideas

Of course, you don’t have to stay in to stick to your budget when it comes to going on a date. There are plenty of frugal date ideas outside the home as well. When the weather is nice, we enjoy some of these on a regular basis.

  • Head to the park.
  • Go on a hike.
  • Rent bicycles or roller skates.
  • Pack a picnic and take a drive.
  • Find a drive-in movie theater.
  • Plant flowers or work in a garden.
  • Search for coupons or deals for local restaurants.

These are just a few of our favorite go-to date ideas, but there are plenty of ways to spend time with your significant other without breaking the bank. Think about what your partner might enjoy doing and find a few frugal dates you’ll love. Readers, do you have any frugal date ideas to add? Leave yours in the comments!

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How to Create an Aggressive Savings Plan

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aggressive savings plan

Our family is attempting to save more money in the coming months with some big changes on the horizon. When we started trying to plan for this, we started throwing around some pretty big numbers. However, I know from previous experience these lofty numbers are difficult to reach and focus on. So, how do you create an aggressive savings plan?

How to Create an Aggressive Savings Plan

First and foremost, before you start planning out the perfect savings plan for you and your family, you should research some of the best high-yield savings accounts. These will give you more bang for your buck in terms of interest rates. Once you find a savings account that you want to use, then you can begin crafting the ultimate savings plan.

Set a Specific Savings Goal

You need to have a specific number in mind when you are setting a savings goal. Decide why, or what, you are saving for and focus on that. For example, you want to save $10,000 by the end of the year in preparation for a new baby. This gives a why, an amount, and a period of time in which to meet the goal. Your savings goal may be smaller. For instance, you may need to save $1,000 for an emergency fund by the end of next month. Whatever the goal is, it needs to be specific.

Really Examine Your Finances

When I say really examine your finances, I mean with a fine-tooth comb. You need to know how much money is coming in, what’s going out, and be able to identify unnecessary expenses. When we took a closer look at what we were spending we realized we overspent on our grocery budget every single month. Why? We eat out too much. It is pretty simple, but when you see the numbers behind it (in our cases hundreds of dollars), it can inspire change. That money really starts adding up once you start stacking it in your savings account.

Stop Spending and Find Ways to Grow

When you examine your finances, you’ll likely find things you didn’t know you were wasting money on. Determine where your costs can be decreased and trim those expenses. For instance, if you are trying to save $10,000 by the end of the year, skipping your bi-weekly manicure will probably help you get there. In addition to finding areas in your budget to trim, you should also find new ways to bring in money as well. Look for a side hustle or part-time job to amp up your savings even more.

While saving money may be a top priority for you right now, that doesn’t mean you should cut all of the fun out of your budget. In fact, cutting everything out of your budget is a bad idea and can lead to abandoning your savings plan altogether. Instead, incorporate rewards for meeting goals and milestones into your budget. You should also keep one or two fun things in there as well.

What Makes a Savings Plan Aggressive?

Now, you may be thinking this doesn’t sound very different from any other savings plan, but what makes your plan aggressive is the amount of time and effort you are willing to put in. You may want to save $10,000 in the fastest amount of time possible. To do this, you may decrease your spending, pay down debts and reallocate the funds to savings, and look for additional work to increase your income.

All in all, an aggressive savings plan is all about how aggressive you make it. Some individuals will move out of their home, rent a room, and slum it for a few months to completely overhaul their finances. Other people, myself included, want to find a more comfortable way to master saving.

Be Patient With Your Progress

No matter where you are in your financial journey, patience is key. I have learned throughout my own debt freedom journey and my relationship with finance that when you run out of patience, you also run out of the drive to make your goals happen.

One thing you should always strive to do throughout your own personal journey is learning from your mistakes. When something doesn’t go as planned or things fall through the cracks, really think about why it happened and what you can do to improve. You may not get it on the first, second, or even third try, but not giving up is the important part.

Readers, have you ever created an aggressive savings plan? How much did you save? How much time did it take?

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Update: Settling Into Our New Home

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new home

There has not been a lot of time to stop and reflect on financial or life updates for the blog recently. We have been running around like crazy for about four weeks now preparing for a move, moving, and settling in. Finally, we are starting to have what resembles home and a new routine for our family. Here’s how we are settling into our new home.

Goodbye, Atlanta!

new home

I met some truly fantastic people in Atlanta, but living there was not good for my mental health, my marriage, or my relationships with others. My husband and I started looking at homes to rent closer to our original homes again (back to North Carolina). A few weeks into our search, we decided we would probably wait until March to move so that we could be financially prepared. No more going into debt just to improve our immediate circumstances, right?

Well, the universe had different things planned.

Our tiny 450-square foot apartment got bed bugs (again – the second time in two years). Thinking about having to deal with an exterminator coming in, finding a place to go during COVID, and the multitude of other concerns on my plate, I was pretty close to having a mental breakdown. I didn’t even want to be in Atlanta anymore, why were we fighting so hard to stay?

A few things crossed my mind. “Just abandon the lease, there are bed bugs in the apartment.” “We can sleep on an air mattress for a few weeks.” “We have to call the landlord.” “Oh, God, we are in no way financially prepared for this right now.”

Help From Mom

I started talking to my mom about what was going on. She was there throughout the first ordeal with bed bugs. I just needed to vent to someone, but she offered to help pay for us to move out immediately. Who could turn that down? So, we started looking for a new home as if “money weren’t an issue,” as mom said.

Within a couple of days, we found a cute three-bedroom and two-bath house close to where my husband and I grew up. We were approved within a couple of hours of applying and mom helped with all of the deposits, moving truck, and other moving essentials. Just like that, our lives completely changed (and for the better).

The move, in general, has been an immediate improvement in the quality of life for us. We are happier, there is more space, we can see people we love. More importantly, we have so many things to keep us busy.

Shopping and Gifts

We did not bring a single piece of furniture from our apartment in Atlanta. There was no use in risking us bringing bed bugs into our new home. So, instead, we started saving every penny we could to get some small essential things (i.e. a cheaper mattress, living furniture, new towels, etc). We have furnished the house (pretty much) for under $2,000 out of pocket.

Amazon has some great buys as far as mattresses go. We grabbed our 10″ mattress for about $300. My grandmother had a box spring she did not need that we got for free. We also got a side table for the bedroom for free. The living room furniture took some more digging. We spent $300 on a futon and ottoman for the living space and used our old coffee table, TV stand, and television.

new home

A family friend came by with a glass dining table, four chairs, and two barstools. These were a gift. They need to be reupholstered, but that will only cost about $100 to $120 in total. That isn’t too bad for a dining set and stools. Then, last, but not least, my mom bought us a refurbished washer and dryer set ($750 with delivery and installation).

new home

Today, a new desk arrived for my new office space ($65 on Amazon). A new office chair will arrive within a couple of weeks. By February, a beautiful sectional my grandmother purchased as a gift will be here.

Making This Our ‘New Normal’

Overall, as I sit curled up on my futon which will eventually be in my spare room, I can’t help but think about how very blessed we have been. There is no doubt this year has been hard for everyone, but I am feeling hopeful. It is hard to settle into this space when it feels like there is so much to do – so much to straighten up, so much to organize, so much to decorate – but it is already home.

In the mornings, we open the back door and the dog goes into our new backyard. We have a cup of coffee together, then I go into my make-shift office (photo for the laughs).

new home

We are beginning to have what we never did in Atlanta: a routine. Eventually, this little place will fill up with things that depict our character. Memories will flood the hallways and we will make a wonderful life here. For now, there is still a little bit of settling to be done.

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The Quest for Cheaper Housing

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cheaper housing

As I’ve been talking about for a few weeks, we are looking at moving… again. If you have been following the blog for a while, you know we started our financial journey while living in a motel (that is just a step above being homeless). We got moved into our apartment after that, then shortly after got the offer to move down to Atlanta. Since being in Atlanta, we’ve moved twice, and now we are just ready to move away from Georgia altogether. So, we started looking for cheaper housing to start saving more but questioned if it was the right decision.

Cheaper Housing vs. Quality of Living

The first thing you really need to decide is how much of your quality of living you’re willing to give up for cheaper housing. Cheaper is almost always going to mean giving up something. You may find it means shared laundry space, small living quarters, or heavily used appliances.

Consider how much money you would be able to save and how that would help the progress of your financial goals. Would that be worth giving up your quality of living for a short period of time? As a family, we’ve done this. We have been in a studio apartment for going on two years now and it wasn’t worth the discomfort we saved moving here. It has sent us running away from apartment living altogether. Giving up space was not the right decision on our part.

Which brings me to my next point, what are your limits when it comes to pursuing cheaper housing? Is it space, is it amenities, is it location? For us, being able to stay the next place we land for a while is important. We want to have a yard for our dog, extra room for expanding our family, and a home office. This way, we can stay put until we are either debt-free or ready to buy a home.

Should You Relocate to Save Money?

Another thing people often think of doing to help them financially is relocating. Especially now, when many people are working from home, relocating may be a good option. For instance, if you are self-employed, you may consider moving to a state with a lower income tax or if you are starting a family you may want to move somewhere with good schools and low property tax.

You may also find some rural areas have cheaper rent prices and even cheaper real estate. Those moves seem enticing when you look at the large savings, but you should also consider how it will impact your day-to-day life. How far will you have to drive to the store? Will you have to pay more for an internet connection?

Bottomline

There is more to making decisions about your life than how much money you’ll save making that move. You should consider your entire life, happiness, and long-term goals when you are making any big decision in your life, even if it is something as small as seeking cheaper housing.

When it comes down to it, making decisions about your everyday life should take more thought and consideration. For us, our next step will be to find reasonably priced housing that our family can grow into and stay in for a while. Somewhere we can reach debt freedom and start saving for our first home. To me, this will be the perfect find over saving (insert amount here) each month.

Readers, what things do you place more importance on when making decisions in your life? Have you ever made a similar choice about housing? 

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It’s Okay to Need Help

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need help

Sometimes the biggest thing standing in the way of my own progress is my pride. Over the years, people have offered to help us monetarily and otherwise. In almost every instance (unless it was life-or-death), I’ve turned the help down. Something in me would rather count dimes at the Aldi checkout counter than accept help from a friend or family member. But, through the pandemic, I’ve realized something: It is okay to need help. Even more importantly, it is okay to accept help.

Giving Up Power

A lot of the struggle with receiving help from friends or family is giving up the power behind the situation. If I receive help from someone, they are now involved and I owe them something in return (or at least that is how my mind has always worked). I also have to admit I’ve lost control of the situation at hand and need help.

For those times, I have to step back and give up wishing for power over the outcome. Then they can be allowed to help to the best of their abilities, whether it is monetarily or otherwise.

Reaching Out When You Need Help

That being said, most of the time people are not going to offer up help unless they see you are struggling. You may have to reach out and ask your loved ones for assistance. Here are some things you need to consider doing when you reach out for help…

  • Show that you have tried to help yourself. If you need help, your friends and family will be more likely to assist if you have tried to solve the issue on your own.
  • If they have given you advice, demonstrate that you’ve taken it prior to asking for more help.
  • Think about the timing of your request and consider how it may impact them.
  • Don’t make them guess. Just ask for what you want.

These four tips will help guide your discussion in a productive way. Remember, if the answer is no, don’t be upset. No one is obligated to assist you financially or otherwise. Simply tell them you understand.

Conclusion

When it comes down to it, more people need help now than ever. The global pandemic, in conjunction with several other national crises, has made it difficult.

I wanted to share these reflections with you all today because I’ve spoken with a lot of people who are feeling defeated. More of my friends are being forced to move back home or significantly change their lifestyles just to scrape by. There is no shame in it.

There is no shame in packing up and moving home if that is what you need to do to get further ahead.

There is no shame in receiving money from a relative in a time of need.

There is no shame in needing someone else’s help.

Readers, can you think of a time where you had to rely on others to get by? How did it change you? 

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