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Financial Lessons That I Hope to Teach My Daughter

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financial lessons

This year is my first year celebrating Mother’s Day as a mom. My eight-month-old baby girl amazes me every single day. As she gets older, I keep thinking about the things I’d really like to teach her, especially where money is concerned.

Financial Lessons My Mom Taught Me

When I think about the things I’d like to teach my daughter I always think about all the things my mom taught me that I carry through my life. One of the biggest lessons I learned from her regarding finances is that there is always more money to be made. Mom hustled a lot while I was growing up. She’s always worked a full-time job and played in multiple orchestras as a violinist. It meant she was gone a bit from October through May, but she made things happen.

I also learned that managing your finances is difficult. As a kid, I was aware of our money struggles. I watched my mom sell a number of her prized possessions so that we could pay our mortgage. We had cars repossessed (my parents would park it in the road and go get another before it hit their credit). Eventually, we lost our home too. At the end of it all though, we were alright. We made things work, we survived.

In our home now, until recently, we were still living paycheck to paycheck. Still, a very small upheaval could cause a big problem in our lives financially. While my mom taught me that money isn’t the end-all-be-all, I entered adulthood still lacking some basic personal finance skills.

What I’d Like to Teach My Daughter

Similar to how my mom taught me that there’s always more money, I’d like to instill in my daughter that money truly isn’t everything. While it is a necessity in the world, it shouldn’t be what you center your life around. Make money, manage it wisely, and life your live to the fullest.

At the same time, I’d like to teach her some of the things I’d wish I’d known. For example, I would like to help her understand budgeting. I’d also like to help her understand loans, interest rates, and debt. I took on a lot of debt as a young adult that I would’ve probably avoided if I had some additional guidance. As I’ve mentioned here on the blog before, I’d like to be able to set up a savings account for her education and set her up for success.

That said, my mom did such a good job. I was aware of our finances and knew that money was an aspect of life, something most kids aren’t able to wrap their brains around.

Closing Thoughts

Moms are special people. If you are a mom celebrating Mother’s Day this weekend, remember that you are making a huge impact on the world. Everything you’re doing is making a lasting impact on your kids. Most of all, you’re doing a good job.

Happy Mother’s Day!

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5 Budget-Friendly Spring Activities for Your Kids

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Spring is finally here, and if you are a parent, then chances are you are looking for ways to keep your kids entertained through the rainy months. It can be easy to want to turn on the TV for the entirety of a rainstorm simply to keep your kids occupied, but there are many better ways to keep your children mentally engaged, even when the weather is so unpredictable. In this blog post, we will talk about some excellent budget-friendly ideas to keep your kids active and creative this spring.

1. Growing Your Own Plants

When it comes to planting a tiny herb garden or a flower bed, spring is the perfect season to start. Schedule a trip to the garden store for your kids to pick out their own flower or vegetable seeds to plant. Be sure to make a point to have them check on their plants every day, watering and caring for them as needed. You can even have them take a photo of their plant every day to make a photo montage when it is fully grown. Growing a personal plant is sure to become a wholesome yearly tradition, and only costs the tiny amount you spent on the seeds.

2. Geocaching

The free “Geocache” app for smartphones is an excellent way to make good use of the sunnier days that spring brings. “Geocaches” are small capsules that people leave in certain hiking spots for people to find and sign, like a game of outdoor hide-and-seek. Though some of these may be higher up and made for adults to find, the app makes it easy to filter and locate all of the geocaches close to you that are geared towards children.

3. Rock Hide-and-Seek

If your kids love geocaching, then they will love rock hide-and-seek. Collect some rocks from a local riverbed or pond, and let your kids paint them however they want. If you want to get extra creative, pick up some glow-in-the-dark paint as well. Once they are dried, you can play rock hide-and-seek inside or outdoors, depending on the weather.

4. Creative Video Games

Video games are becoming a popular pastime for children of all ages. While it can be easy to assume that video games are just like television, several engaging video games focus on building and creativity. Minecraft offers kids an entire world of their own to explore and build, offering endless playability for years to come. Certain “seeds” can help determine the Minecraft world that you generate, but they are mostly random. This game is also a cheaper alternative to other age-particular games that your child may grow out of, and can keep their creativity growing for years to come.

5. Using Your Crafting Leftovers

Once your child’s little chunk of video game time is up, you can keep the building motive going with a crafting closet party. Instead of throwing out all your old art supplies, allow your child to make whatever they want out of them. Sculpture-making is a great boredom-buster for rainy days, especially for kids who are bigs fans of Lego or Minecraft.

Clearly, there are tons of ways to keep your kids mentally active this spring. Whether they prefer creativity of the digital variety, or physically exploring the outside world. The world is theirs for the taking, so get out all your crafting supplies and get started!

Our Third Wedding Anniversary: Reflections

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March 18, 2019 was the day my husband and I got married. As you know, it has been a wild ride. We got married and, two days later, moved to Atlanta (a place we’d only visited once). We were adventurers. Both of us would jump at the opportunity to experience something new. Three years later, everything and nothing has changed.

We still jump at the opportunity to experience new things, but we do some research and make sure it is in the budget. There is also nothing in the world that would make us want to live in a big city again. Love to everyone in Atlanta, but we didn’t have a good time there. Maybe it was bad timing (COVID-19 and all), but our experience there turned us off of living in the city altogether.

Our relationship over the last year has only gotten stronger. At this time last year, I was pregnant and we were eagerly waiting to find out the gender. Neither of us were surprised with the ultrasound tech told us we were expecting a baby girl.

I got to see my husband, who was already my best friend, become a dad. It looks good on him! He also kickstarted a new career where I know he will do amazing things. We nourished each other’s hobbies and helped each other grow. “And like the Grinch” my heart has grown at least three sizes this year to shower our little family in love each day.

anniversary reflections

Financially, we are so much better off than we were three years ago and even more so than when we first moved in together six years ago. During our relationship, we have been homeless living in a motel, a great apartment we loved, a run-down temporary house, crowded in a 450 sq. ft. condo with bed bugs, and now in our little three-bedroom rental. We’ve been through it all.

The biggest thing we both need to get adjusted to is being able to live rather than just survive. There have been a lot of really intense situations we’ve dealt with over the last few years. Motel living, bed bugs at Christmas, moving back to North Carolina to discover I was pregnant one month later. Right now, I’d love for us to be able to sit back and really enjoy this moment in our lives instead of constantly wondering how we will pay for rent or what if XYZ happens? I want to live rather than just survive.

All in all, we have had a great anniversary. We got a few kid-free hours, ate great food, visited the bookstore, and got to do a puzzle. Of course, we got plenty of time with our little one too. Cheers to three years and a lifetime ahead of us. I can’t wait to see where it takes us.

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Birthday Reflections: How Last Year Changed the Way I Look at Life

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birthday reflections

January 29 is my birthday. Every year, I take a moment to reflect on the previous year, how I grew, changes that happened, and so on. This year’s birthday reflections left me feeling thankful and glad for the life I have.

Why I Reflect Every Year

Many people take the time to reflect at the end of the year and the beginning of the next. While I do love to reflect around January 1 like everyone else, reflecting around my birthday has always been important to me. Every year, the number associated with how long I’ve been on this planet goes up. People often associate your age with certain milestones. Next year, the year I turn 30, is a big one for many people. You’re “supposed” to have met so many milestones by the age of 30. It’s easy to feel like you’re falling behind peers your age.

That is one of the biggest reasons I sit down and reflect every year: not to compare myself to others but to compare myself to who I was last year. It gives me a version of myself to say, “Wow, I’ve come a long way.” My 28th year of life was kind of crazy, but in the most special way. I grew closer to my husband, we grew in our careers, and we welcomed our daughter into the world. It was truly an amazing year, but how have I personally changed?

My Birthday Reflections: Year 28

This year was definitely one to remember. Now granted, I spent most of the year pregnant and preparing for the birth of my child. However, that experience and other things I went through last year have completely changed who I am fundamentally as a person. I grew in more ways than one. Last year, I started practicing yoga, which has become an important part of my life. I did a lot of things that made me uncomfortable to improve myself as a person (including taking new classes, meeting new people, and going to the doctor more).

Financially, I’m nowhere near where I’d like to be, but our finances grew in 2021. We were able to save, set up everything for the arrival of our baby, and spend a solid eight weeks with her after she was born without having to work. That was fantastic. Honestly, money has become less important to us as a whole. Spending time together is where we’ve been focusing our efforts.

The biggest change for me this year was the idea of family was altered in a huge way. I’ve always had a large family (my dad is one of nine children). There have always been aunts, uncles, cousins, out there somewhere. The family I’m talking about is a bit different though. Leading up to my 29th birthday, I learned a new sense of family. My husband, daughter, and I have such an amazing, close-knit support system. Seeing how these individuals rallied around me, around us, last year was amazing. Twenty-nine is starting out to be an interesting year already. Change is in the air and I’m excited to see what the next year brings.

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Should We Trade In Our Car?

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trade in

Around the new year people tend to set financial resolutions and plans for the next 12 months. The beginning of the year is also a good time to get a decent price on a used car. As you know, our little family grew by one last year with the addition of our daughter, Dahlia. Before now, we’ve driven a 2015 Volkswagen Golf GTI. However, fitting the car seat in the backseat isn’t the easiest thing to get done. So, we have been going through the pros and cons to try to decide whether or not we want to trade in our vehicle.

A Little Nostalgia

My husband absolutely loves cars. It is something he’s always been passionate about. One of his lifelong goals was to become an automotive journalism, which he accomplished last year. That being said, there is a little nostalgia attached to the cars we’ve had together.

Before we transitioned into being a one-car family, my husband drove around in a tiny 1999 Mazda Miata. We took a lot of adventures in that car. Eventually, Drew wanted to take it to race at the track. Unfortunately, that never ended up happening. We sold the Miata during the pandemic and still miss it dearly. It was such a fun car with so many memories attached to it.

The Golf is no different. For one, it is the first thing Drew and I truly purchased together. We named the car Gerry and we’ve used it as our primary driver now for three years. There have been road trips, it was the car we brought our daughter home in, the car we packed up and moved states away in. So, even though it is a pain to get the car seat into, part of me wants to hold on to Gerry just a little longer.

Will We Make a Trade In?

While we were initially mulling around the idea of trading in our car for something that would lower our monthly payment, we probably won’t be making a trade in unless we find a crazy good deal. The car seat dilemma is a temporary one. When we go on road trips, we can purchase a roof rack instead of buying another car. Ideally, we will pay the Golf off over the next two years or so and then pay for the next car in cash, keeping the Golf as a beater until it dies.

The only way a trade in would make sense for our family right now is if we found something that would give us lower payments with more space. With cars and real estate, that perfect mix of cheap but spacious is hard to find. Will family road trips in our little Golf be difficult? Yes. Will I also probably bump my head every time I put the car seat in the back? Also yes. At the end of the day, we have to keep our eyes set on what will be best for our family financially.

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A Look At The Labor and Delivery Bill From When I Gave Birth

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Labor and delivery bill

Bills are still trickling in from when I gave birth last August. Our little one entered the world on August 31 and, surprisingly, I wasn’t hit with a mound of medical bills immediately. In fact, nothing started coming in the mail until late November regarding my labor and delivery bill. Here’s a look at what the out-of-pocket cost will be for our family.

The Cost of Having a Baby

While I was pregnant, I researched the cost of having a baby and posted about it here on the blog. For a lot of people, it is shocking when the labor and delivery bill arrives and it is five figures. The average amount most women pay to give birth in a hospital is around $40,000. That’s if everything goes perfectly. Additional drugs or other medical intervention will cost more. For instance, I was induced and required medication for induction. This meant my pharmacy cost while in the hospital was higher than average, but we will look at a break down of the bill below.

There are plenty of other costs to giving birth in a hospital. Many people don’t consider what they’ll eat while they are there (and trust me, hospital food isn’t it). In fact, during COVID, some of the hospital’s services, such as food delivery, aren’t completely available. On top of that, you may be in the hospital longer than you think. My stay started Monday afternoon and we didn’t leave until Thursday morning. Some hospitals may charge parking during that period of time. Be sure you are prepared for that.

Some of these unexpected costs may throw people for a loop, but what really shocks most couples is when the labor and delivery bill arrives.

The Labor and Delivery Bill

The dates I was in the hospital were August 30 through September 2. When the bill came from the medical center where I gave birth the total came to $26,250.40. Thankfully, my insurance is covering $23,548.85 of that. However, that still leaves me footing $2,701.60 of the bill. Here’s a break down…

Labor and delivery bill

  • Labor Room/Delivery: $17,630
  • Room and Board Private (one bed): $4,416
  • Pharmacy: $1,772.45
  • Anesthesia: $908
  • Special Charges: $243
  • Laboratory: $1,281

As mentioned above, I had to stay in the hospital a little longer than most mothers when they give labor. So, my room and board and paying for the labor room is a little higher than average. My pharmacy and laboratory costs are a little more expensive too. I went into the hospital because I was having trouble regulating my blood pressure. So, some additional medication was needed. Many people may pipe up and say we could’ve saved money by sharing a room too. During COVID that simply isn’t an option though, and you still have to pay the private room fees.

I honestly chuckled when I saw the bill. The most important part of labor/delivery was the anesthesiologist (that epidural saved me), but it is one of the cheapest item lines on the bill. The room, which is the most expensive part of the entire ordeal, was uncomfortable and the food was poor. At the end of it all though, we got our sweet little Chicken Nugget (her official nickname). She makes the labor and delivery bill irrelevant.

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How We’re Planning to Spend Christmas This Year

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spending christmas

Christmas time is usually hectic. Both my husband and I are typically working to meet end-of-year goals while rushing to get things done for the holiday. However, this year, our little one has forced us to slow down a little. That’s something kids tend to do, by the way (if you don’t have any). Despite our usual seasonal tasks being a little thrown off, we are planning to spend Christmas with family and surrounding the newest member with love.

A Christmas That Came Together

All in all, this Christmas has just come together. I didn’t go pick up what I needed to make dinner until the Wednesday before Christmas. That is the same day I bought my husband’s gifts. I waited until the last-minute for everything because, well, we’ve been busy soaking up time with our baby. We both returned to work full-time in November and every spare moment we have is with her.

I’m thankful we are both able to work from home and be with her daily, even if there are some hard days. As a family, things generally come together for us. This Christmas is no different. We’ll have a few great things under the tree, thoughtful presents for family, a good meal, and plenty of homemade treats. Best of all, we will be with some of the people we love the most.

Reflecting During the Holidays

The holidays always tends to be a time of reflection for me. I take a moment to think about all that I’ve accomplished throughout the year. Last Christmas, we didn’t even know that we were having a baby yet. Amazing things happened for our family in 2021. There were career moves made, we went on trips, and we received the best gift of them all: our healthy daughter.

spending christmas

From a financial standpoint, we are far from where we want to be. There is no doubt about that. We still hold debt and now have a little more to pay off from the birth of our child. Our budget has gone haywire and we need to buckle down. There is time for that still. For now, we are enjoying our child’s first Christmas and reflecting on how incredibly blessed we have been this year. We are beyond rich with love in our family.

Readers, do you use the holidays as a time to reflect on your accomplishments? Share some of your wins from this year!

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Unpopular Opinion: People Spend Too Much on Babies at Christmas

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Christmas baby spending

I’ve been sharing some of my unpopular opinions on social media more recently and one that got a lot of people upset recently was about babies at Christmas time. As you know, we will have a four-month-old for Christmas this year. It is always an exciting time to be around kids during the holiday season. At the end of the day, she won’t remember a single thing. We will create plenty of memories but people spend too much on babies at Christmas. That may be an unpopular opinion but it’s true.

Spending at Christmas

It is estimated that Americans will spend around $886 on Christmas presents this year. Much of that will be on gifts for kids, which is great. There is nothing better than seeing a child’s face light up while they are opening a gift on Christmas morning. However, when it comes to celebrating with your newborn, pump the brakes. People are spending way too much. There are the trendy family photos, matching pajamas, big presents, fancy outfits, and the list goes on. All of it is adorable, but it is also extremely expensive and unnecessary.

Instead, spend some money on a babysitter and get some quality time in with your spouse.  The time you get one-on-one with them will make you return to your home, and your little one, more relaxed and happier. At least, that’s how I’d spend the extra money.

Baby’s First Christmas

Numbers vary on how much families spend on their baby’s first Christmas. The average family will spend about $330 per child. This breaks down in different parts, usually many of them unnecessary. Here’s a break down…

  • Baby portraits: This can cost $100+, depending on the package you purchase. Not to mention you’ll want to buy prints, frames, etc. You’ll also likely spend a pretty penny on the outfit they wear for the photos too. Instead of spending money on this for our little one we’ll be posing her for some photos throughout the week before Christmas in different outfits sent by family.
  • Matching pajamas: It is adorable and super trendy to have matching pajamas, but spending $45 on a onesie every year at Christmas time is insane to me. If you have a bigger family, that starts to add up fast. Even a matching dog bandana was $9. We’ll give our little one new pjs, a book, and a stuffed animal every Christmas Eve but there won’t ever be any pressure to hold the matching pj tradition.
  • Toys: Many families shower their kids in various gifts every year, and that’s great. As I mentioned above, many parents will spend more than $300 on each kid. Our family has chosen to have one big gift every year and lots of smaller, useful things. This year, our little one is getting a walker/activity center, which we paid for in gift cards we had from baby presents still. Typically, we will use Christmas bonuses and money to buy her big gift every year.

In the long run, we hope there is less focus placed on how much money is spent every year and more emphasis on the experiences we have together.

Readers, how much do you think you spent on your child’s first Christmas? 

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Creating Traditions: Place Less Importance on Material Things

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Creating Traditions

Tis the season to be stressed out over money because you’re trying to keep up with your neighbors. Seriously, I remember growing up there was a literal competition between my dad and the neighbors during Christmastime. Every year, more lights would get added to the house and more decorations put up outside just to one-up the family next door. It was all in good fun and certainly never put my parents in a hard spot financially. However, many people do the same thing with how many gifts are under the tree or creating the Instagram-perfect family get together. They compare to others and spend a fortune trying to keep up with the Joneses. When we start creating traditions in our family, we have decided to place more importance on experiences and spending time together.

The Reason for the Season

It is easy to get lost in the hustle and bustle of what many people refer to as the “shopping season.” The real reason for the season is often forgotten. For many people, it is a time to celebrate faith and love. You celebrate giving and spend time with the people nearest and dearest to your heart. When I think back on holidays as a kid, I think about the Christmas morning breakfast we had each year when my Nana came over.

I also think about the smells in the house, how I’d put on a fashion show with all my new clothes, and we’d curl up on the couch, calling all of our family that wasn’t able to be there. Then, dad would spend the day helping us get our new toys set up while mom cooked a yummy meal. That warmth is something I am reminded of often when thinking about how we can create our own traditions.

How We Are Creating Traditions

Now that we have a little one, it’s time for our family to start creating traditions of our own. My husband and I have been spending time talking about the things we’d like to do with her each year. Obviously, this year she’s still too little to do much of anything but next year and the year’s to come we can continue to build on our traditions. We will also carry over some fun things we remember from our own childhoods (Christmas lights and dressing as Santa).

I recently talked about how we prep for the holiday season and keep things within our budget. The biggest thing was to find things you can experience together with family. While we do plan to do things like matching pajamas and ugly Christmas sweaters each year, the main focus of the traditions we’re creating won’t be material things. We will do small stockings and one big gift each year. Our holidays will be centered around having a fun time with family, showing love and appreciation for each other, and being thankful for the amazing lives we have together.

Readers, what are your favorite holiday traditions?

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How We Financially Prepare for the Holiday Season

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prepare for the holiday season

The holidays are swiftly approaching. It’s hard to believe we will be celebrating our first Thanksgiving with our little one next week! For many people, this is a stressful time of year. Most of us have more social engagements than usual. On top of that, we are spending more money than we normally do, possibly traveling, and probably not eating the best. Many people find themselves biting their nails over the cost of presents and celebrations. Here is how our family tries to prepare for the holiday season.

Confession: I’m Buddy the Elf

If you’ve seen the Will Ferrell movie Elf, you know Buddy. I am him, he is me. Christmas time is one of my favorite times of year (I’m also a huge fan of Halloween). I simply love the season of giving, family time, baking, colder weather, traditions. It is important to me to be able to spread my cheer each year. However, it is also extremely important we stay within our budget each year. Only a cotton-headed ninny muggins would go into debt buying presents, right?

While we certainly don’t plan to put any gifts on credit this year, many Americans do. In fact, more than 21% of Americans say they will go into debt buying Christmas gifts. About 29% of shoppers say they’ll go into debt but they pay it all off in full with their tax returns. In general, people are willing to go about $1,400 in debt just to celebrate the holidays. For our family, wracking up debt on gifts just simply isn’t in the cards and it shouldn’t ever be, honestly.

Establishing New Traditions

Because Christmas is such an important time of year for me, we want to establish family traditions. One thing we are going to try to do is work in a lot of low-cost or free activities into our holiday traditions. For instance, there is a giant village about an hour from our home that has an amazing Christmas lights display. We will likely pack some food, hot chocolate, and get in the car to see the lights each year. This is little cost to us and a great tradition.

We will also be doing low-cost crafts.  This is something I always did with my godchildren before. Each year, we plan a night where all our parent friends can get together with their kids and do some type of holiday craft. I also usually bake cookies for them to decorate. The entire event typically costs less than $50 and is so much fun. It is also a great tradition to keep (kind of like a Friendsgiving of sorts). We’ve also been considering doing things like volunteering and family secret Santa when our little one is a little older too.

Another thing I’ve seen online this year is people hitting the dollar store for their decor. This is great way to switch up themes and color schemes from year to year at a low cost. I’ve seen some folks on TikTok decorate their tree for less than $35. That’s pretty amazing! So, in essence, we are looking to keep costs as low as possible by establishing some low-cost traditions and focus on the reason for the season.

How Do You Prepare for the Holiday Season?

As always, personal finance is personal. If you are someone who takes out a loan every year and it works for you, keep doing what works for you. If you’re like me and start the countdown for Christmas on December 26, saving and planning throughout the year, that’s okay too. You are doing what works best for you and your family.

At the end of the day, it really isn’t about the amount of money you spend. Focus on spending quality time with your family this season. Those are the memories they’ll keep forever anyway. Happy Holidays!

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