Psychologists Reveal 10 Phrases Women Use When They Might Be Hiding the Truth

We all like to think the people in our lives are honest with us. Whether it is a partner, friend, or coworker, honesty creates trust, and trust keeps relationships strong. But let’s be real—everyone bends the truth now and then. Sometimes it is harmless, like saying you loved a meal when you really did not. Other times, it is more complicated, and you are left wondering if you are being told the whole story.

Psychologists have studied lying for years, and one fascinating discovery is that the words people choose often give more away than their body language. We have all heard the advice to “look for shifty eyes” or “watch if they fidget,” but research shows the language we use can be even more revealing. The good news? If you know what to listen for, you can spot subtle hints that someone may not be completely truthful.

Now, before we dive in, let’s be clear: not every use of these phrases means someone is lying. Context matters, and people sometimes say things out of habit, stress, or even just poor word choice. Still, if you start noticing these patterns often, it could be a sign that something is not adding up.

Here are ten common phrases psychologists say can signal dishonesty, along with why they raise red flags and what they might really mean.

1. “Honestly, I’m telling you…”

When someone feels the need to preface a statement with “honestly” or “to be honest,” it can actually have the opposite effect. Psychologists call this a verbal cue meant to reassure the listener, but if the truth is solid, why emphasize it? Often, people add this word when they sense you might not fully believe them.

Next time you hear “honestly,” pay attention to what follows. It could be genuine, but it could also be a subtle attempt to boost credibility where none is needed.

2. “I swear I didn’t…”

Phrases like “I swear” or “I promise” are meant to make a claim sound airtight, but in reality, they can be a cover for shaky ground. When someone leans heavily on swearing, they are trying to convince you rather than simply stating the facts.

Instead of focusing on the dramatic language, focus on the details of what they are saying. If the story itself feels thin, the extra “I swear” may be their way of patching up the holes.

3. “I didn’t mean it like that”

This one often pops up when someone realizes their words landed poorly. On the surface, it may sound like an innocent attempt to clarify, but it can also be a way to rewrite what was originally said. It is essentially a quick retreat.

If you hear this a lot from the same person, ask follow-up questions: “Okay, then how did you mean it?” A truthful explanation should be consistent. A dishonest one may feel vague or contradictory.

4. “I was just kidding”

Humor is often used as a shield. When someone says something that sparks an awkward reaction, slipping in “I was just kidding” allows them to escape accountability. Sometimes, yes, it is genuinely a joke. But other times, it is a safe way to test your reaction without owning the statement.

If the topic feels serious—like jealousy, suspicions, or past actions—it may be worth asking, “If you were serious, what would you have meant?” This simple question can reveal whether the joke was really a joke at all.

5. “That’s not what I said”

Few phrases are more frustrating than this one. Instead of addressing your concern, the speaker shifts the focus back to you, making it seem like you misunderstood. This is a classic deflection tactic.

When you hear it, do not get defensive. Instead, calmly say, “Let’s go back to what was said,” or, if possible, refer to a text or message. If their denial does not line up with the record, you will know something is off.

6. “I don’t remember”

Of course, everyone forgets things now and then, but when memory lapses appear at very specific times—like when someone is being asked for details that matter—it can be suspicious. “I don’t remember” is a way to avoid committing to an answer that could later be proven false.

If you want to test it, ask the person to tell the story in a different order, such as backward. Psychologists have found that lying requires more mental effort, so details tend to crumble when the story is told in reverse.

7. “It’s not what you think”

This phrase sounds reassuring, but in reality, it rarely clears anything up. Instead, it puts the burden back on you, suggesting that you are jumping to conclusions without providing a clear explanation.

The best response is gentle but direct: “Okay, then explain how you see it.” If the explanation is consistent and logical, you can breathe easier. If it feels evasive or vague, there may be more to the story.

8. “Everyone else also says…”

Invoking other people—“everyone else,” “people are saying,” “my friends think”—is a way to give a claim more weight. But because “everyone” is so broad, it is nearly impossible to verify. It is a clever trick that shifts attention away from the speaker and onto this supposed crowd.

The simplest counter? Ask for specifics. “Who exactly said that?” If they struggle to name anyone or keep changing the subject, it is a red flag.

9. “I never said that”

Flat-out denial is one of the most common strategies for dodging responsibility. When delivered confidently, it can make you second-guess your own memory. But if you know for a fact that you heard it—or better yet, have proof—it quickly becomes clear what is happening.

When this comes up, stay calm and avoid turning it into a shouting match. Just point to the record, whether that is a text message, email, or a clear memory of the conversation. The truth has a way of speaking for itself.

10. “Why would I lie to you?”

This rhetorical question is designed to put you on the defensive. Instead of answering your concern, it flips the responsibility back onto you, as though doubting them is the problem. It is not only manipulative but also avoids providing any real clarification.

The best way to handle this is with patience: “I am not saying you are lying, but there are some things that do not make sense. Can we go through them together?” That way, you keep the focus on the inconsistencies rather than the guilt trip.

Final Thoughts

At the end of the day, everyone tells little white lies. Sometimes they are harmless, like complimenting a friend’s haircut when it is not your style. Other times, they can signal deeper issues, like avoiding accountability or hiding the truth. The key is not to turn into a human lie detector who treats every word with suspicion but to recognize patterns and trust your instincts when something feels off.

Listening closely to how people phrase their words can give you valuable insight into what is really going on. These ten phrases are not foolproof evidence of dishonesty, but when they start to appear repeatedly—especially around sensitive topics—it is worth paying attention.

The most important takeaway? Use this knowledge not to catch people in the act but to improve communication. Instead of accusing, ask thoughtful questions, and see if the details hold up. Sometimes a simple conversation can clear the air, while other times, it might confirm your gut feeling that something is not quite right. Either way, understanding the subtle cues of language gives you an edge in protecting your relationships, your trust, and your peace of mind.