Sometimes the biggest thing standing in the way of my own progress is my pride. Over the years, people have offered to help us monetarily and otherwise. In almost every instance (unless it was life-or-death), I’ve turned the help down. Something in me would rather count dimes at the Aldi checkout counter than accept help from a friend or family member. But, through the pandemic, I’ve realized something: It is okay to need help. Even more importantly, it is okay to accept help.
Giving Up Power
A lot of the struggle with receiving help from friends or family is giving up the power behind the situation. If I receive help from someone, they are now involved and I owe them something in return (or at least that is how my mind has always worked). I also have to admit I’ve lost control of the situation at hand and need help.
For those times, I have to step back and give up wishing for power over the outcome. Then they can be allowed to help to the best of their abilities, whether it is monetarily or otherwise.
Reaching Out When You Need Help
That being said, most of the time people are not going to offer up help unless they see you are struggling. You may have to reach out and ask your loved ones for assistance. Here are some things you need to consider doing when you reach out for help…
- Show that you have tried to help yourself. If you need help, your friends and family will be more likely to assist if you have tried to solve the issue on your own.
- If they have given you advice, demonstrate that you’ve taken it prior to asking for more help.
- Think about the timing of your request and consider how it may impact them.
- Don’t make them guess. Just ask for what you want.
These four tips will help guide your discussion in a productive way. Remember, if the answer is no, don’t be upset. No one is obligated to assist you financially or otherwise. Simply tell them you understand.
When it comes down to it, more people need help now than ever. The global pandemic, in conjunction with several other national crises, has made it difficult.
I wanted to share these reflections with you all today because I’ve spoken with a lot of people who are feeling defeated. More of my friends are being forced to move back home or significantly change their lifestyles just to scrape by. There is no shame in it.
There is no shame in packing up and moving home if that is what you need to do to get further ahead.
There is no shame in receiving money from a relative in a time of need.
There is no shame in needing someone else’s help.
Readers, can you think of a time where you had to rely on others to get by? How did it change you?