If you’ve followed the blog for several years, you know I’ve spoken about my grandfather. The end of June marks his birthday and it is a time I always wind up reflecting on his life, the things he taught me, and the imprint he left on so many people’s lives. He was someone who was smart with money and level-headed about, well, everything. Anyone looking for solid, non-biased advice could always look to my Pawpaw. Where finances were concerned, people could stand to take notes. Here are a few lessons he taught me.

Take Time to Think

One of the biggest things my Pawpaw taught me was that you need to take time to think about big decisions. While spontaneity is good (and he had plenty of that), he would take a moment to think about any life-altering decision that needed to be made. Case in point: when he and my Nana decided to adopt my mom, he took a few days to consider all of the factors and make an educated choice. He looked at their finances, learned a little more about adoption, and that had a baby girl in their arms later that year.

Leave It to the Pros

There are some things better left to the professionals. My Pawpaw hired people to help with the things he wasn’t good at because, chances are, if he tried doing them it would just cost more money. For instance, he hired landscapers to come and do the yard. He also hired an advisor to handle some of his investing. When it came to tax time, he was the professional everyone came to. This is just a good reminder that just because you can DIY doesn’t mean you should.

Find a Supportive Partner

Another thing my Pawpaw taught me is that you need to have a supportive spouse/partner in your corner. When he approached my Meemaw, his second wife, about wanting to retire early she went out and bought him a retirement mug. “Go for it,” was her response. They were such a great team and understood each other well.

Secure the Life You Want to Live

My grandfather knew that he wanted to retire to Florida and he did just that. It took hard work and planning, but he made it happen. Around the time I was five years old, they moved from North Carolina to Florida. He and Meemaw purchased a beautiful new home in a 65+ community. They lived out some of their best years together there and it is where she still resides.

Have a Plan

Securing the life you want to live isn’t possible without a plan. Every step of the way, he knew what the end goal was. He wanted to be able to have financial freedom and enjoy his life on his terms. We would always joke around that Sinatra’s “My Way” was really about him.

His planning didn’t stop with his life either. Pawpaw had a plan up to the very minute he died. He didn’t leave anybody holding the bag after he passed away. Instead, everything was already handled. The will had been written, money where it needed to be, and everyone was able to process their grief.

Don’t Sweat the Small Stuff

Last, but certainly not least, something my Pawpaw always said to us was this: “Don’t sweat the small stuff, and it is all small.”

That is the truth! There isn’t anything in the world you can’t come back from. In the grand scheme of things, it is all small stuff. When he lost a sizable amount of money in 2008, he kept moving forward. It sucked, but he recovered from it. At the end of the day, even the market crash was small stuff. If you keep that mentality, you can overcome anxiety and reach your goals.

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I haven’t talked about it much here on the blog, but I’m big into crafting. I starting knitting when I was about five years old and, after that, I wanted to learn every craft I could get my hands on. One thing I never learned how to do was use a sewing machine. I can hand sew all day long, but I’ve never touched a machine. Until now, that is.

Yard Sale Finds

First, sewing machines can be pretty pricey (we’re talking $100 for the most basic and an average of $300 for a decent machine). When my husband saw that my neighbor was selling one during the community yard sale a few weeks ago, he immediately called me. On his way back from grabbing our Saturday morning breakfast, he got $50 cash back. If she’d take $50, I would have a new sewing machine. ]

I walked over with my little one shortly after breakfast and found myself chatting with the woman. She was glad to sell the sewing machine for $50 and I happily lugged it back home. For a fully functioning Pfaff sewing machine, I got a steal. However, the real savings hasn’t even kicked in yet.

How Sewing Will Save Us Money

Before we dive in too deep, sewing can be an expensive hobby. If you are purchasing new fabric, buttons, and only buying from the “fabric section” of your local craft store, you won’t likely save any money. Your sewing machine will save you money if you are willing to be thrifty and think outside of the box. Here are some ways it will help us save money.

• Stockpile clothing. If you’re like me, there are plenty of clothes in your closet right now that you haven’t worn in over a year. This clothing stockpile is actually a gold mine when it comes to sewing projects. Rather than go out and buy an entirely new outfit, I can create a new one with the fabric from older clothes.
• Thrift shop for vintage pieces. Vintage clothing can have interesting patterns and design ideas that you wouldn’t have come across anywhere else. The best places to find vintage outfits or fabric are yard sales in established neighborhoods. You might also be able to find good vintage pieces at your local consignment/thrift store.
• Adjusting our current clothing. As my body continues to adjust to life after giving birth last year, it will be nice to have a sewing machine to make adjustments to my clothing. I’ll be able to take things in (and possibly let them out) when we need adjustments to be made.
• Kids clothes. When it comes to larger items that are hanging in the closet (like that $300 bridesmaid dress I’ll never wear again), I plan to make some outfits for our little one. This can be a great thing to do with extra clothes you have – just downsize it into a child’s outfit.
• Making blankets. The biggest reason I got the sewing machine is because I enjoy making blankets. My first project will be a quilt made from my baby’s onesies from her first year of life. While this doesn’t technically save us any money, it does help us reuse items that would just get dusty in a box.

These are just a few of the ways my newest hobby will help save my family a little money. Not to mention, no one will ever have the exact clothing we have on (and that’s kind of cool).

Readers, do any of you sew or tap into your crafty side to save money? Tell me about it in the comments!

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I’ve often chatted about Dave Ramsey and the “Baby Steps” here on the blog. Ramsey hocks it as a tried-and-true way for anyone to get out of debt and get their finances on track. While his seven-step program is a great way to improve the fundamentals of your money management, especially if you are a novice, it doesn’t work for everyone. Like anything else with finance, there is no “one size fits all.”

What Are The Dave Ramsey Baby Steps?

If you aren’t already familiar, the Dave Ramsey Baby Steps are this:

1. Save your first $1,000 emergency fund. This is a starter fund! You’ll add to it later.
2. Pay off all of your debt, minus your mortgage. He suggest using the snowball method, which is effective.
3. After that, you’ll fully fund your EF. For Ramsey followers, he suggests having three to six months worth of expenses stashed away.
4. Once you have enough money for a serious emergency put away, it’s time to invest! Dave tells people to invest 15% of your income into retirement.
5. Save for your child’s education. Some people will be able to skip this one entirely if they don’t have kids.
6. Pay off your home early if you have a mortgage.
7. Build wealth and be charitable.

On his site, Ramsey sells this as an “Anybody Can Do It” money management plan. While the Baby Steps are solid, many fin-influencers don’t agree with Ramsey’s philosophies. Most can agree that there is no single financial plan that will work for everyone. 

Why Some Fin-Influencers Don’t Like Dave

As mentioned above, the main issue most people in the debt-free community have with Dave Ramsey is that he acts as if there is only one approach to your money. Anyone who has been in the trenches of their own debt free journey knows that not everything goes according to plan. My own debt-free journey has had a lot of ups and downs. We have paid off quite a lot of debt over the last few years, but we have also strayed away from focusing solely on debt.

Fin-influencers on social media roll their eyes at Ramsey’s advice a lot of the time. Usually, they say, the information he is sharing is fairly obvious. Many fin-influencers also don’t like how much money he has made off of people who are down on their luck. For example, he takes calls on his show to provide advice. Ramsey isn’t particularly nice to the callers and is blunt about their financial situation. Then he tells them a “one size fits all” solution exists and they have $200 to access all of the details.

Others simply don’t agree with his approach. For instance, our family does better with more than $1,000 to fall back on, especially with our new baby. Fully funding our EF is a priority right now. After six months or so of expenses is set aside, we will be able to start cutting down debt quickly.

At the end of the day, you’ll know what works and what doesn’t for your finances. You need a budget and a plan of attack. Beyond that, your financial journey is your own.

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Recently, I have seen a lot of other personal finance bloggers talking about sinking funds. Vacation sinking fund. New car sinking fund. Dream home sinking fund. At first I was like, why don’t they just call it saving money? However, if you aren’t using sinking funds, you should be. Here’s why.

What is a Sinking Fund?

A sinking fund is a method of saving money each month to go towards a specific purchase. Each month, you set aside some money in one or multiple categories to be used for a purchase or event at a later date. This makes it so that you are saving small increments of money over time instead of forking up everything all at once. You can create a sinking fund for just about anything. People have used them to reach financial goals, take dream vacations, and even buy homes.

You may be thinking to yourself, “what is the difference between a sinking fund and a savings account?”

The biggest difference is that sinking funds are more intentional than just general savings. You are saving your money to work towards a goal. If all of the various things you are saving for are kept in the same account, things are bound to get confusing eventually.

Benefits of Using Sinking Funds

There are a lot of benefits to using sinking funds. Think about it. If you take your family of four to the beach, that is easily $1,500. Christmas gifts for the same family can rack up some serious cash too. Here are some of the specific benefits of sinking funds:

• Save for literally anything you want. You make the decision on what your goals are and what you are saving for. A sinking fund simply makes your saving more intentional. You know exactly what it is going towards and, in some ways, that can be motivational.
• Plan extravagant trips or events. Whether you are planning your dream wedding or a trip to the Bahamas, a sinking fund can come in handy. You can make them as extravagant as you want, just set the monetary goal you want to reach.
• Stop feeling guilty about big purchases. If you are like me, there is a lot of anxiety around making expensive purchases. When you have a sinking fund designated for specific big purchases, however, you don’t have to feel guilty. The money was there and saved specifically for that purpose.
• Be prepared for inevitable expenses. Every year, we have to get the car registered and pay the taxes on it. Why does it always catch me off guard? October again? Having a sinking fund where a set amount goes away each month to reach the $500 that we need to cover that annually will help me be prepared for that expense.

My New Sinking Funds

Our family is saving for a number of things. Once we have our emergency fund flush with cash, we will be starting a few sinking funds of our own. Here are the categories:

• Car maintenance/registration fees
• New clothes
• Vacation
• Dream office
• House
• Christmas

As you can see, these are purchases many people would be willing to take on debt for. They would either swipe a card or take out a line of credit, possibly even a loan. Sinking funds are great for anyone trying to be debt-free. It helps you avoid taking on debt for large purchases. Instead, you can plan and save. Sounds like a win to me!

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To round out Mental Health Awareness month, I thought I’d talk about one of my biggest challenges (mentally, financially, etc.). Not unlike many people, I have a really hard time asking for help, even when it has been previously offered or received. At times, this has cost me a lot. It has cost me relationships, friendships, and plenty of money. There have been moments I didn’t ask for help and took out a loan instead. Why?

I’d like to say it is pride getting the best of me, but there are probably a lot of reasons I don’t ask for help. One of the biggest is that I’m certain other people will let me down or I’ll let them down in some way. If I do it alone, no one can be disappointed with me but me. There are some other reasons you might have trouble asking for help.

Why You Feel Like You Have To Do It Alone

First, people who are overgivers often have a difficult time asking for help. Because they focus on giving so often, they don’t always know how to accept help. You may also be codependent, which has been a large part of my problem. A lot of my own self worth has been tied up with what people think of me. So, I spend time taking care of other people instead of tending to my own needs. People ask me for help, I say yes. When it comes time for me to ask for help, on the other hand, it is nearly impossible.

It is also possible that you are trapped in a victim mindset. Maybe you’ve had bad luck in the past, it doesn’t always have to be that way. Don’t stay in the mindset that you are alone and have to handle everything alone. Counterdependency is also problem. It is the opposite of codependency. These people often say things like “I don’t need anyone or I can do it myself.” At times, this may make you seem strong and stable, but you often feel lonely and have no real connections in the world.

Trust, self-esteem, and intimacy issues have all contributed to my own personal difficulty with asking for help. Some people truly believe they need to suffer and others are beaten down by their inner critic. Whatever the case may be, it is okay to ask for help. In fact, you should do it more often.

You Should Ask For Help More Often, Here’s Why…

Generally speaking, people are reluctant to offer unasked help. They don’t want to potentially offend you by offering and it can create an awkward situation. So, if you truly need help, you won’t get it unless you ask. You won’t come off as needy and it won’t harm your relationship. In fact, asking for help has actually been shown to strengthen relationships.

So, next time you’re down on your luck, remember that you can ask for help. Give yourself some grace! I’ll try to remember that too.

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In the debt-free community, a lot of people shy away from sharing stories about the mistakes they’ve made. To me, that’s toxic behavior. By not sharing where you fell short, you may be taking the information away from someone who really needed it.

Recently, we fell behind. Things were getting harder to keep up before my husband took on a full-time job. My gas bill somehow stacked up to more than $300 and other bills were starting to pile up too. I knew once he started his job we would be able to catch up on everything fairly quickly. The end of the harder times was on the horizon, but it got me thinking about what we need to do in order to really catch up. If you’ve fallen behind, don’t worry. It happens to the best of us. Here’s what you can do.

1. Pay the Most Important Bills First

Assess the bills you’ve fallen behind on and decide what needs to be paid first. These things would typically be necessities: rent/mortgage, utilities, food. Make sure you get your basic needs addressed first. Once you’ve done that you can move on to the other money you may owe.

2. Call Creditors and See How They Can Work With You

When it comes to debt payments, most companies are willing to work with you on a plan to pay off your account. If you have a credit card and have fallen behind, give them a call and explain your situation. Usually, they will be able to work out a payment plan that better suits your current needs or push your payment date back so that you have more time. This can be said for loans, some utilities, phone bills, etc. You’ll never know if you don’t ask and it could make all the difference in how you bounce back from falling behind.

When you are ready to tackle your debt again, read more about the Debt Snowball Method here.

3. Set a New Budget

Once you’ve caught up on everything that you’ve fallen behind on, set a new budget. Obviously, the last one wasn’t working for you. Not to mention, you may have had some significant changes that impact your earnings, spending, etc. Don’t forget to include budget lines for any of the subscription services you have, entertainment/fun money, and recurring costs like car maintenance.

4. Get More Money in Savings

After you have set a budget that works for you, make sure you have enough left in your plan to stash some money away. Having savings to fall back on is a huge help when you fall behind or are having any kind of financial trouble. You always know you have that money in savings to take care of what you need in the mean time.

5. Address Personal Needs

Chances are, if you’ve been behind for a little while, you’ve been ignoring a lot of your own personal needs. Take a small amount of your budget and spend money doing something you enjoy. This can help you feel more positive and motivated about your financial journey.

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Friday the 13th is one of my favorite “holidays.” You never know when one will pop up, but it is typically a day of spooky movies and snacks around my house. However, if you’ve looked into the history of Friday the 13th, you know many people consider the day to be full of bad omens. I’ve learned over the years that some people do truly just have bad luck, but most of our misfortune can be avoided. Whatever you do, don’t do these three things with your money.

1. Overpaying for Housing

One of the biggest things you can do that will screw up your finances is overpaying for your housing. With rent prices like they are, it can be challenging to find something within your price range, but it’s not impossible. Here are a few things to consider.

• As a general rule of thumb, no more than 28% of your income should go towards rent or mortgage payments. Right now, that may seem hard to do. Nationwide, the average rent payment sits at $1,164 and with the housing crisis, it is hard to find anything to buy without a bidding war. Ignoring this budgeting rule can really hurt your finances though. When you overspend on housing, you wind up taking on debt to cover your other expenses. It’s a vicious circle (been there, done that).
• Consider relocating if you can. At the end of 2020, we made the decision to relocate to save money and be closer to our family/support system. This was a really great move for us. It’s not feasible for everyone, but if you can relocate somewhere that is cheaper to live, do it! The financial weight lifted off your shoulders is worth it.
• Look for roommates or live with extended family. Living with other people is another great way to reduce your housing costs, and more people are doing it than ever before. A lot of my friends live with extended family (parents, grandparents, aunts and uncles). They have a larger home, but everyone lives under the same roof. It reduces the overall cost of housing for each individual and helps with things like childcare, transportation, and other expenses too. Roommates can be great too, just make sure you know who you are moving in with.

2. Neglecting to Budget

Neglecting to budget will also cause you bad luck with your finances in the long run. As mentioned above, only 28% of your income should go towards housing. There are recommended budget percentages for just about every budget item you can think of. Don’t forget to include these things in your budget.

• Some fun money! You have to have a line in your budget for fun or entertainment. If you don’t, you are less likely to stick to your budget as a whole.
• Sinking funds! Sinking funds are another important budget line item. You need to have sinking funds for things like car repairs/maintenance, property taxes, vacation, etc. Make sure you have this in your budget!

3. Not Buying Insurance

Insurance is another biggie when it comes to protecting your money. While a lot of people will tell you insurance is a racket (it is), it is totally necessary unless you have some crazy amount of money. Even then, you’d probably want to insure it. When it comes to people without bucket loads of cash, you should hold a few different kinds of insurance, including:

• Health insurance
• Renter’s or home insurance
  • Flood or other weather-related insurance for your area, if not covered in home insurance
• Car insurance
• Life insurance

These four types of insurance will protect you in the event you are in any kind of accident, your health declines, or something happens to your property (assets). It also helps protect your family and provides them with a way to take care of things if you can’t. Without it, you can quickly eat up your emergency fund and then some. You’ll find yourself pulling out a loan or using your credit card to cover the costs.

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