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People Rarely Take Their Own Advice

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advice

As we’ve made plenty of decisions about our lives and finances, many people have offered up words of wisdom to help us get through. However, something I’ve noticed is that people rarely take their own advice. In fact, when I think about it, it may even go back to the age-old saying my own mom recited to me, “Do as I say and not as I do.” But why is it that people seem to be able to offer up advice that they themselves can’t take (or at least can’t seem to adopt in their own lives)?

The Truth Behind It


Most of the time when people offer up their shining advice on a silver platter it is something they rarely do (or have ever done) themselves. When it comes down to it though, it is simply hard to be your own advisor. Your emotions and additional internal knowledge will cloud your judgment and lead you to make decisions that you, perhaps, would not recommend to anyone else.

More simply put, when you are not in the middle of a problem, you are better able to look at the issue objectively without all those pesky, irrelevant details. A blog post from The Cut outlined one specific example of when people talk about health issues. When we discuss health problems with someone else, we almost always suggest they get a second opinion. Once your doctor’s appointment arrives though, many people neglect to ask for a referral for a second opinion.

Why? Well, most people say that they don’t want to offend their doctor. This is something irrelevant to the actual decision at hand. When you are on the outside looking in, it is easier to look at it objectively. The same can be said of career advice, hair advice, and pretty much anything else.

Will You Take Your Own Advice?

Even I am guilty of doing this. I push the debt snowball (which I still haven’t nailed down for our family). I write on this blog every week while my finances are still not in tip-top shape, but the advice I am able to give here is from my own personal experiences. Even if I’m not taking that advice right now, per se, they are things that have helped me.

Any time you are looking at someone else’s situation, it is easier to really see the big-picture view. Having that same view when it comes to your own life is hard. It is easy to get hung up on the small stuff. But, when it comes down to it, it is all small stuff – so don’t sweat it.

When you consider offering up advice to someone, solicited or unsolicited, think about whether or not you follow that piece of advice yourself. Or, maybe, more importantly, think about whether you should be following those words of advice. Chances are, you are telling them something you need to hear too.

Readers, do you have trouble following your own advice, even when it is good?

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How to Handle Financial Stress in a Relationship

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Handling financial stress with a loved one, in many ways, is far better than suffering through it alone. However, stressing out about money can have a heavy impact on a relationship, whether it be romantic or platonic. So, how do you go about handling financial stress without adding stress to your relationship? 

There’s no 1-2-3 answer to this really. In many cases, the dynamic of the relationship will determine how financial stress is handled. However, there are some steps you can take to ease the stress on your relationship and place it where it belongs: on fixing your finances.

How to Deal With Financial Stress in a Relationship

My significant other and I have been living together for about a year and a half. Up until recently though, we were pretty strapped financially. It took a lot of discipline and hard work. We paid off debts, saved money, and made things happen quickly. One of the main contributors to our success in doing so was not allowing the financial stress to damage our relationship. Here’s how we did it:

  1. Be open and honest about money. One key step in our success to overcoming our financial stress was communication, and it will be on your journey as well. If you are sharing finances with this person, and plan to do so the rest of your life, you can’t be afraid to talk to them about it. A huge thing for us and many other couples is being able to find a tool that we could use to monitor all of the finances in the house. We did this by sharing a Mint budgeting account. We added all of our accounts and reminded one another of due dates, savings goals, and had a good idea of where we were financially at all times.
  2. Talk about areas you messed up and discuss your losses. Before we got to that great place where we were communicating about our finances well, we messed up. A lot. Don’t be afraid to admit when you’ve messed up, but also work with your partner on ways to prevent it from happening again. Talking about where you messed up and how it happened can prevent financial stress down the road. For instance, we went over budget at Christmas time and, subsequently, had a really tight budget at the beginning of the year. We discussed having additional savings this year for Christmas (because we both love the holiday). Discussing it took the stress out of the relationship and placed it back on the finances like it should be.
  3. Always appreciate the little things. When you are broke or seriously working on your finances, you don’t have money to spend on spoiling your significant other, and that sucks. You can still do a lot of little things that will make a world of difference though. When dealing with financial stress in a relationship, focusing on the little things can make-or-break it. While we were experiencing hard times, my other half brought home $1 coffee mugs (I love coffee), or he would bring home my favorite snack. Although these things didn’t cost much, they meant a lot.

Don’t Be Afraid to Get Help

Whether it is relationship counseling or financial counseling, always remember that reaching out for help is a possibility. Don’t be afraid to reach out to a financial advisor or relationship counselor to help you navigate these tough times. There are many affordable counseling services available.

Dealing with financial stress in a relationship can be tough but as long as you keep communication open, work together, and reach out for help when you need it, you and your partner will be on your way to financial success in no time!

Read about how to maintain your financial momentum.